More Things I Have Learned

Alright folks here is another list for y'all (yep picked that one up)

1) Even though ocra chips are dried when you start to eat them they are still slimy.

2) Moonshine is illegal, but in a mason jar it is just water.

3) Moonshine is REALLY strong.

4) Ivan and I look incredibly trustworthy. I have been left alone in two houses and handed a pair of car keys.

5) Ivan doesn't like it when I sing Disney songs.

6) Copperhead snakes smell like fresh cut cucumbers before they strike, or when you get close (thankfully I do not know this from experience).

7) If a dog is chasing you the best thing to do is to stop and face them (and rural dog owners, some of them, get mad at the cyclists for disturbing their dogs).

8) Squirrels are not cute.

9) Turtles have a hell of a lot of blood in them.

10) Lightening goes both up and down.

11) Moonshine is really strong (wait did I do that already?).

12) The question "do you think it will rain?" will always be followed by a torrential downpour in no less then five minutes.

13) There is always a house at the top of any hill, no matter how tall.

14) And now, because none of my list was really funny, I bring you a joke from Mitch Herbert:

"I saw a wino eating grapes and I was like 'dude, you have to wait.'"

11 Thing's I Have Learned

Here are a few essential things I have learned/discovered so far:

1) people do weird things in public bathrooms like plucking all of their eyebrows and dyeing their hair.

2) it doesn't matter if you have a chest or junk in your trunk, so to speak, a six year old will still ask you if you are a boy, looking perplexed at your bald head.

3) bag balm (butt ointment) will become your best friend.

4) the boy on the trip will make fun of you for how much stuff you have brought along, but then he will use your pliers, tent repair tape, sunburn cream, leatherman, and stove.

5) you will become disturbingly comfortable with disturbing bugs.

6) you will he surprised when the day comes when your butt isn't the partook your anatomy that hurts the most at the end of the day.

7) shaving your head will become the best decision you have ever made.

8) "clean" is all relative.

9) you can burn your sunburn.

10) your new favorite thing will be to walk into the campground shower fully clothed, shower, and walk out again without drying. You will do this more times than is proper--probably depriving a whole third world country of their drinking water for at least the next ten years.

11) your biking partner will not appreciate your rather wonderful rendition of Janis Joplin's Merzedes Benz. He will not like it so much that he will slow down till he is fifty feet behind you--obviously a BIG indication of his bad taste.