Alright folks, I am very sorry it had taken us so long to write. Part of the reason is the almost ever present exhaustion, when we finally roll into camp I never want to do anything other than sleep, the other part I will explain shortly.
First, let me say that we are seeing some beautiful country, meeting some really fantastic people, and generally having a grand time of it. As of right now, June 10th, we have covered about 680 miles. Tonight we are camped at the border between Virginia and Kentucky--I honestly never thought this state would end. But that is getting ahead of myself; I have some blogging I need to make up for. So I will go back to the night we stayed at the fire station in Mineral and explain the other reason why blogging has not been happening on my part.
The night we stayed in mineral started out fine enough. We camped at the fire station, out back under their little covered patio. Neither of us used tents, and by nine we were bedded down. Around ten thirty I started to hear some screaming--I thought, at first, that it was just a bunch of teenagers messing around. But it countinued, grew more desperate, and I began to realize that it was just one woman. I finally woke up enough to realize that the woman in question was being threatened, if not at the time physically beaten, by a man I can only assume was supposed to be her better half.
By the time I was awake enough to get out of my sleeping bag, turn on my phone, put on my shoes, and move towards the man and woman (they were only about a block away on the other side of a small field) the firemen, who were on call, were already responding, effectively absolving me of any ethical responsibility.
This is why I have been unable to blog. I can still hear her screams. I can hear her crying out, "you hit me!" I can see his white shirt bobbing in the dark of night as he rushed her, cornered her, and told her to get in the f****** car. It has taken me sometime to put a little space between me and this event. It has taken me some time not to feel raw and hurt, because what I saw was raw and dirty. I am reminded of a quote--I don't remember the author, nor do I have the wording right, but it goes like this: "is it no surprise that we have met the enemy, and that enemy is us?"
There are beautiful people in this world, and there are those who aren't. There is good, there is bad, there is right, there is wrong, and there are shades of everything in-between. The world is full of dichotomies, and what do we do when we are faced with the ugly side of that metaphorical coin? Do we stand back and trust that fate, or destiny, or God will flip that coin and make things better? Or do we way the risks and act anyway?
I don't want to get on a moral high horse--I don't have one to stand on anyway. I have been cautioned not to be to preachy in writing this, not to make people uncomfortable. But this is about sharing my experiences, and trying to fit them into the bigger picture.
So my experience? Well, I listened and watched as a desperate woman screamed. There was no pitch, no rhythm, nor did she cry for help specifically. It seemed as if fear had grabbed her throat and shook her back and forth, causing a warbling effect. So dear reader, I share this with you. Try to imagine it, try to hear it. I know it isn't nice, nor is it really polite of me to ask this. But I will sleep and wake with her screams in my head for a long time, and I think, for me, the only way to respond to this morally is to write about it.
Examine it if you want. Examine yourself if you want. We all come across a catalyst, now and again, that forces us to ask ourselves how we fit into the larger equation that is humanity. This was one for me--and it has made me realize that I have a moral obligation to try and be better, to question the world around me, and when I find myself tested to try and not fall short.
Anyway, this has been the only major shadow on the trip thus far. We have met so many wonderful people that there is a beautiful balance in favor of good in the world. I never thought I would say this, but I do believe, deep down, I am an optimist. Shocking I know.
I am going to then the phone over to Ivan now so he can post. Then I will continue to make up for lost time.
Tanti baci a tutti! (Kisses for everyone)
Striving for brevity, failing miserably.
ReplyDelete"I have been cautioned not to be to preachy in writing this, not to make people uncomfortable." Whyever not? How deadly is comfort, especially when artificially maintained? Besides, you're an author; you have a responsibility.
"I listened and watched" You witnessed, and you acted. Good things. You also thought about your actions in advance (good move with the cell phone), which is even better.
There are several unpleasant tendencies in the human psyche, but they effect us most when we are not aware of them. Freedom comes from recognizing the chains.
"I have a moral obligation to try and be better" True, but note the spiral. What a person thinks is less important than what a person does, what a person does is less important than what she learns from what she does, and what she learns has no value unless it effects future thoughts and actions. Ultimately, the important thing is the trend, the movement over time. And that means that you also have a moral obligation to accept yourself as always unfinished.
"I do believe, deep down, I am an optimist." *applause* Being an optimist means you're going to get hurt, which means you're going to learn. Pessimists keep themselves safe, but they do so by keeping themselves dead. Life is better, even when its raw and dirty. That said, there is also definitely a place for a certain level of practical paranoia.
You should be proud that you moved to act. Too many people would have rolled over and gone back to sleep. I am blessed to know you.
ReplyDeletewhen do you guys think you'll roll into jackson? i think im heading back to oregon mid august so i want to know if you'll make it. if not, i still have people you can stay with here.
ReplyDeletemiss you both, wish you'd write me.... hehe